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UKIP Calypso, Tory Collapso

Another week, another uncontrolled influx of UKIP-dominated headlines. The last seven days saw the party span the sublime (with opinion polls in Rochester suggesting an imminent Tory-scaring victory) to the ridiculous (when Mike Read’s valiant efforts to combine xenophobic politics with irresistible Caribbean rhythms hit a bit of a bum note). Watching the Tories trying (and broadly failing) to set the agenda with their own evolving views on immigration inspired the Spectator columnist Alex Massie to sum up the paradox of the Conservatives’ position in one coruscating sentence: UKIP are right. Don’t vote for them!

The Postman Always Rings Twice

Labour’s marginalised Blairites are pleased to see the straight talking and well-regarded former BIS minister Pat McFadden back on his party’s front bench (as the new Shadow Minister for Europe). McFadden, who impressed during his time as a minister at BIS, has been tasked with countering the noisy Eurosceptic narrative and creating a “hard-headed, patriotic case” for the UK’s continued role in the EU. Easier said than done, perhaps, but those familiar with McFadden know he’s been developing his arguments for some time.

Stairway to Bevan

Ed Miliband’s conference speech and the ubiquity of Andy Burnham (perhaps the main front-bench beneficiary of the leader’s current struggles) have shown that Labour is sticking to its NHS-or-bust election strategy. PMQs provided another example of how the battle lines are being drawn, but as is often the case with discussion of the NHS, meaningful debate quickly slipped beneath the surface of a statistical soup. Meanwhile, new NHS supremo Simon Stevens made a significant foray into the knotted thicket that is the management of Britain’s health service, by calling for £8bn of additional funding over the next parliament. The health service and how we pay for it are going to be near the top of the political agenda for the foreseeable future – something which Labour strategists hope will benefit Ed Miliband’s party, despite the Tories’ (and the Daily Mail’s) efforts to divert attention to Labour’s record on health in Wales.

Don’t Worry, Bee Happy

In an interesting week of coverage for Britain’s smaller parties, Natalie Bennett’s Greens turned the long arm of the law into a bit of a PR coup (after Jenny Jones was arrested in Parliament Square) while Lib Dem advisor Ryan Coetzee leaked the Lib Dem policies on bees to the nation’s grateful media, something which the waspish John McTernan thinks might be a deliberate strategy.

For He’s a Jolly Good Flello

And finally, congratulations to Stoke-on-Trent MP Rob Flello whose dog Diesel is parliament’s prize pooch. Mr Flello’s German Shepherd beat Michael Gove’s Bichon into second place – leading at least one Tory wag to suggest that the new chief whip lacks the bark and the bite to collar his colleagues, and stop further defections to UKIP...

With contributions from Rory Cronin, Sam Oakley and Nathan Jones.